Tell us about yourself. Where are you from, what are you passionate about, how many kids do you have, etc.
My name is Kelly McMillan Raskoff. I’m from the Bay Area (CA). I’m a neonatal nurse practitioner, a wife to my college bestie (Josh), and a mom to two active, wildly fun (and constantly changing) boys- Hudson (3) and Quinn (10 months). I am passionate about family, friends, and babies (both at home and at work). Not spending time with friends and family during COVID times has been really challenging, but both my husband and I are in healthcare and around sick patients often; so keeping our bubble small is the best option for our little (yet growing) family! Other passions of mine include trying new recipes, lake/beach/snow trips, hiking, fishing, and sleeping in (which never happens anymore).
Tell us about your career. What do you love most about your job? Do you have any stories from working with moms and babies that have resonated with you over the years or past few months?
I started off initially thinking that I wanted to go to medical school. During college, I spent a summer shadowing my (now) father-in-law, a wonderfully kind and brilliant cardiologist. During our time together, I was introduced to many amazing medical providers and ultimately, I felt like nursing was the best avenue for me. I finished up my Bachelor’s degree in Nutrition Science at Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo- located in a small town along the Central Coast of California- and headed to bustling NYC to start an accelerated Bachelor’s program in Nursing at Columbia University. Once I graduated from that program, I worked as a new graduate registered nurse in a Neonatal ICU in NYC. I then went back to Columbia University to complete the Master’s program in Neonatal Nursing while still continuing to work night shift. I vividly remember working in the NICU during Hurricane Sandy. The basement generators went out at a nearby hospital, and all of their patients had to be quickly moved to other hospitals. Many of the neonates came to our unit. Also during Hurricane Sandy, my preceptor was transferred from that same hospital to our hospital in active labor, and I was at her delivery! It was all a bit wild! Anyways, after completing the Master’s program, I moved back to the Bay Area to be closer to family and I started my neonatal NP career at one of the largest teaching hospitals in the area. In that role, I work with critically ill neonates, attend high risk deliveries, and also transport sick babies via ambulance, helicopter, and fixed wing. I continue to work there part-time and have also recently started a new job at another nearby hospital where I spend time in the neonatal ICU as well as in the well baby nursery. So… needless-to-say, I work with babies and parents every day. I see the challenges they all face with regards to navigating parenthood and feeding while also recovering from recent childbirth, which is difficult in and of itself. I’ve had parents tell me, through tears, that we (as in nurses, nurse practitioners, doctors) know their (sick) child more than the child knows his/her own parents. Of course, this isn’t true but these are deep, gritty, valid feelings. Becoming a mom has 100% made me a better neonatal nurse and nurse practitioner! It’s added tools to my tool belt so to speak. I feel as though I now have a deeper understanding for what these parents are feeling. I love being able to connect with the parents and support them through an overwhelming and often very challenging journey in the Neonatal ICU. Often times, these babies are in the NICU for weeks to months so we develop deep relationships with, not only the babies, but the families too. I love getting holiday cards and connecting over social media to see how big these once little itty bitty babies have become!
Tell us about your first impressions or pre-conceived notions you may have had about breastfeeding and pumping? How did the real thing compare to the picture you had created in your mind?
I guess that, because of my breastfeeding exposure at work, I was aware that breastfeeding could be challenging. Just like with childbirth, breastfeeding isn’t always what moms expect. And the perfect plan isn’t always possible. Sometimes babies have trouble latching. Sometimes there are medical reasons as to why a baby cannot breastfeed and must instead receive formula. Things often don’t go as planned. And parents have to somewhat improvise and shift their goals a bit.
Prior to being a breastfeeding mom, I guess I didn’t realize how much of your life is spent around breastfeeding and simply the topic of breast milk (if that makes sense). For many many months, you feel like you are 1.breastfeeding your baby 2. pumping milk so that someone else can feed your baby while you try to get a few hours of sleep or 3. leaking milk all over… it feels like your life revolves around looking at the clock- thinking “when did he last eat?” “when did I last pump?” “Is there enough milk pumped in the fridge for the next bottle feed?” “Should I try and pump more to keep my supply up and build up my freezer stash for when I go back to work?” And so on. It can be all encompassing and mentally and physically exhausting. I was pretty lucky in that both of my boys latched easily. But, with my first, after a long and tiring labor, my milk did not come in for FIVE days, despite frequent feeding/pumping, lots of skin-to-skin time and keeping myself hydrated and fed. It was hard. Then, when my milk did come in, it was beyond painful. So that was surprising to me! Thankfully, with the second kiddo, my milk was in very shortly after birth and it was not painful! Phew!
Breastfeeding is so amazing. It’s not glamorous, it can be uncomfortable, and it can also be somewhat frustrating. But it’s SO incredible that our bodies can do what they do. We can grow a human, deliver a human, and then sustain a human! And the bond between that forms between a mom and a breastfeeding baby is unlike anything else.
What has it been like breastfeeding and pumping during COVID? We hear stories of the emotional rides moms experience through COVID-19 times and breastfeeding in general. It could help other moms to hear your story of how you got through this challenging experience during a pandemic.
Logistically speaking, breastfeeding and pumping during the pandemic has been easier. I don’t have to worry about where I’m going to breastfeed or what cover I am going to use because “Hey, I’m either at work or at home!” It doesn’t matter how I look or what I’m wearing because it’s just me and the fam. No one can see that I’m still in pjs at 4 pm. But it can also feel very isolating at times. With my first child, I loved being able to get out and grab meals with friends. This time around, it’s so different. It’s been hard to connect with other local moms because we don’t have those in-person, mom-and-me classes, walks in the park, and so on. Social media platforms have been pretty helpful with trying to connect with moms. Also, as a family, we go on LOTS of neighborhood walks. I’ve been able to connect with neighborhood families that way and that feels nice. It’s just SO important to get out for our mental health!
If you have more than one child, did your pumping experiences vary greatly? If yes, how?
Oh man! They definitely varied. With my first child, Hudson, I was able to have a relatively structured feeding/pumping schedule but with baby #2 (Quinn), all bets are off!!! Toddlers are wild creatures (haha!) and they want things NOW… maybe even 15 minutes ago. It’s just not easy to find the time to take care of a toddler, a baby, and sit down to pump. You multitask like nobody’s business! I remember one time literally laughing out loud because I was breastfeeding the baby while wiping the booty of the toddler who had just been potty-trained. No joke.
What’s the most unusual piece of advice you’ve received about motherhood?
One of my best friends, also a new mom, shared this advice with me – “Don’t be afraid to feel all of the new emotions that come on as a parent. Laugh when you’re happy. Have a good cry when you need to let it out. Celebrate the small victories because you’ll feel like you’ve got it all figured out one second and then the next second you have no clue again. All of that is totally normal and is actually part of what makes being a parent so cool. Because you’re not just getting to know more about your child and who they are, but you’re also getting to know more about yourself too.”
Also- always accept help when someone offers.
Name some nursing/feeding items that you can’t live without.
Hands-free pumping bra as well as the “hidden” pump inserts. Using those inserts with the portable Ameda Mya pump was amazing! I am able to pump discreetly during rounds at work. Once word got out about my “hidden pump,” moms, nurses, lactation consultants, and other coworkers all wanted to know about it!
Can you tell us about your first experience with Ameda and how it led you to become an Ameda user?
I was first personally introduced to the Ameda brand when I started using the Ameda Platinum, a hospital-grade pump, at work. They are located in all patient rooms for mothers to use as well as in our pumping rooms. I found that I could pump the same amount of milk in less than half the amount of time, as compared to the one I had at home (not hospital-grade and not Ameda). So – with baby number 2, I noticed that one of the pump options through my insurance was the Ameda Mya. It was portable and with a reportedly strong suction, so I figured that I had to try it out. And it’s been great! No regrets!
What’s one piece of advice you wish you would have known beforehand and would like to share with other moms?
Mom guilt is real. It is sometimes hard to explain why you feel a certain way, but you just do. And that’s okay. It’s also okay to be bummed about things not going the way you had planned them to go. I remember feeling so incredibly guilty that I had to give my second son formula. With my first son, he never received a drop of formula and I was proud of all the hard work that went into making that happen. Then, with baby number 2, the stress of COVID-19, juggling 2 kiddos at home, balancing new job plus old job… I just couldn’t keep my supply up. And I felt bad about it! Then I felt bad about feeling bad about it. I tell parents all of the time at work not to worry about giving their child formula and then here I am, feeling bad about it with my own child. The stigma and societal pressure around formula feeding doesn’t help. We all have our own source of mom guilt and internal battles. That’s okay. We just need to refocus our energy a bit and remind ourselves of all of the amazing things we have done We are capable of so much!
While a picture is worth 1000 words, we must get the whole story behind Mya’s first known ride on a helicopter!
As part of my neonatal NP role, I transport babies to our hospital if they need a higher level of medical and/or surgical care. We travel via fixed wing, helicopter, and ambulance, depending on the baby’s needs and his/her geographical location. On this particular day, we had a transport call that was expected to be a 1-2 hour flight each way… and I had to pump! Thankfully, I was able to bring my Ameda Mya pump with me and pump in the air! I snapped a picture because it was definitely a funny feeling to be pumping with the flight suit and helmet on. I did, however, feel proud for being able to keep on my schedule regardless of my work environment!